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I am seeking a deeper understanding of God through His Word and my reflections of it. "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him" ~ Philippians 2:13

Friday, January 28, 2011

Road Trip With Jesus (a book in progress)

Road Trip with Jesus
Chapter 1 – Shepherd Call
Jonathan Matthews fights the urge to gun his red classic convertible Camaro as he gets on the Dauphin Island parkway but the growl of the engine and smell of the salty air rising from the Gulf of Mexico intoxicates him and at once, his foot finds the floorboard. The engine roars and the rear end of the car tucks down as the speedometer passes seventy.  Jonathan yells with everything inside, down to his core as he passes eighty. The rise of the elegant arching white bridge that crosses the bay and over into Dauphin Island has become his runway to the heavens.  Looking through the windshield, all he can see is perfectly blue skies. He reaches the top of the bridge and 100 miles per hour and takes his foot off the gas. The wind whipping through his hair, the smell and the sound of the moment, he closes his eyes and just absorbs it. For a brief moment, he had out run his past. He had left the hurt behind. This road trip he was on was his attempt to escape it all. Desperate and lost, he is searching for something…anything. All he had was gone. He is broken inside. His eyes open to find the small island in view with its piers full of fishing boats.  Jonathan looks over to what he thought was an empty passenger seat but sitting there was Jesus Christ. Jonathan jumps and hollers with fright at this Man that has appeared in his car sitting next to him. With a smile Jesus asks “Do you feel better now?” Jonathan not able to speak and barely able to keep the car on the bridge, gasps and struggles to figure out what is going on. He makes it to the bottom of the bridge and pulls the car to the side of the road and stops. “Dude! I don’t know who You are or how You got in my car but get out now!” Jesus still sitting in the passenger seat calmly staring down the road, simply smiles and says “I am here to help you.” Jonathan was still upset but getting himself back together “Who are You!?” Jesus dressed in blue jeans, sandals and a loose fitting white shirt turns to face him and their eyes meet “It might be easier for you to understand if I put it this way…I need a ride and you look like you might go My way.” Jonathan now feeling under control breaks out his cocky smile and says “You need a ride huh? Well I might not be the guy You want to ride with.” Jesus laughs “if it is all the same to you, I would like to go with you. My name is Jesus.” At this Jonathan cackles out a laugh, runs his hands through his short sandy brown hair  “ok Jesus…You wanna ride? Buckle up butter cup…and oh yeah…love the name by the way.” Jesus smiles back “Thanks, My Father picked it out.” Jonathan snorts out another laugh “so let me get this right, You think you are Jesus out of the Bible?” Jesus looks him in the eye and says “No…I am the Son of God. I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. I am your friend.” This brings forth the painful recent memories of the failures in Jonathan’s life. In his mind he sees flashes of his wife, his kids, his life before and with bitterness in his voice “Well, I have been waiting on You…where have Ya been? It is a little too late now! My life is ruined. Your timing is perfect!” Jesus’ eyes show the sadness He feels “I told you there would be trouble in this life…but also that I am with you.” Jonathan’s heart is so filled with hurt and his mind so clouded by his losses that even with the Savior of the World sitting beside him, he can’t let it go.
“Well Jesus…we aren’t getting anywhere quick sitting here on the side of the road, so let’s see where this goes.” Jonathan fires up the engine. Without another word being said he navigates his way on in to the business area of the island to a gas station. He gets out, swipes his credit card and begins filling up the horsepower heavy and hungry Camaro. It was his dream car that he never thought he would have but had been fortunate some years back to buy. It was just about all that was left. His business of many years had failed a year ago and it was followed shortly by his marriage. Jonathan had been considered a great success to those around him but most importantly to himself. A great business, a beautiful wife, three healthy kids…the world was his until it all slipped away. The handle on the pump finally clicked once the gas tank was full and brought him back from memories and the pain that swirled in his mind. He collects the receipt and slides back behind the wheel and sings to himself “Jesus take the wheel…take it from my hands” Jesus looks at him with patience in His eyes and says “I should, after that little show coming over the bridge but you are driving…I am trying to navigate for you”. Jonathan, with his smirk back on his face, fires up the hot rod and heads to the ferry on the east side of the island. He looks over at Jesus “I still don’t believe that the ‘Great I AM’ is riding shotgun with me but at this point in my life, I just don’t care anymore.” Jesus returns his look but doesn’t say a word and both look down the road ahead. The day is beautiful, the temperature is perfect, the car is purring and they drive on noticing all the homes along the way. Some are beautiful and manicured while others still show damage from the hurricanes but all have the trade mark look of a house on an island, white sand here and there, tall slender trees with palms. It is so different from where Jonathan comes from in northern Louisiana. His home in the delta was a beautiful sight sitting along a small curving bayou lined with cypress trees. It was comfortable, inviting and modern with a big dose of southern charm.  It was home…but now it was just something else lost that hurt to remember. His eyes narrow at the thought. His hands grip the steering wheel tightly but it doesn’t stop that swirl of emotion inside that has taken the place of his pride. Mercifully, his thoughts are broken as he pulls up the lane to get on the ferry that will take them across the bay to Fort Morgan, Alabama. He stops and waits his turn to drive his car onboard and enjoys the organized chaos that happens each time the ferry is loaded. He looks over and Jesus asks softly “where is this going to take you?” Jonathan knows He is not asking about where the ferry is going but rather this ‘road trip’ that he is taking to escape his life. He stares ahead as he responds low “I don’t know where. But I do know it has to be better than where I was. I felt like I was dying there. Every time I went anywhere, people’s eyes said what their mouths didn’t. I could see it. I knew what they were thinking. I tried to get passed it…it is impossible” Jesus responds “the eyes won’t hide that which is within.” Jonathan now a little upset and aggravated at how long it is taking to load the ferry exclaims under his breath “Jesus!” With the understanding of a father Jesus says with a grin “don’t take My name in vain.” Jonathan smiles and breathes out “yes sir”. The car in front of them begins moving and then it is their turn to get on the ferry. Lightheartedly Jesus says “See...good things happen when you act right.”
The ferry finishes loading quickly and within moments, they are out in open water with sea gulls swirling overhead.  Jonathan stands along the rail, half leaning and half holding on for some sort of balance but not because of the motion of the ferry but rather the turmoil that has been his life. His thin but muscular build that used to have the matching ego still looks the same as it did before the trouble in his life began but his face and his blue eyes can’t disguise the storm inside. There was a time when it seemed that his mere presence in a business meeting would seal the deal. His charm and boyish good looks had more than once given him the advantage in business and in love. His mind reels with thoughts of who he used to be. Jesus stands beside him at the rail of the ferry and both look out across the water. One seeing only his failures in this life and the Other seeing the triumph yet to come. Jonathan looks to Jesus and asks “So Lord of all the Earth, why me? Why did all this have to happen to me?” Jesus turns and says “My promise was for many, including you. The sheep are many but the shepherds are few. I am here so that you will open your eyes to truth. I am here to help you find your way. Let Me explain it this way…two men are walking the same path. One is consumed with self; the other is consumed with passion for others. Along the way, they come across people in their lives. The decisions they make and their interaction with the people they meet are all affected by their perception of who they are themselves. The first sees the people through a lens of himself; the other sees them through My eyes. The first does nothing for those he comes in contact with but the second is a light in the darkness that others may find their way. You cannot represent My kingdom by representing yourself. The wickedness of man is ever present. If you want to know who you truly are, who you were born to be, then the focus of your lens must be Me. Only then will you see things as they truly are.” Jonathan thinks about this for a moment and responds “so You think I need to help people? I can’t even help myself! My life is a mess. I am ruined. The money is nearly all gone…my ex wife has taken what little was left. I don’t know when I will be able to see my kids again or even if I should. I am empty…I am nothing!” Jesus’ eyes dive deep into Jonathan’s soul and He says “many will come to Me by your testimony.”  Jonathans mind is overwhelmed with everything in his life and swirling even worse now because of this strange conversation. He smiles at Jesus “Whatever Dude…did You get that speech at a church conference or something?” Jesus returns the smile says softly “in time you will understand.”  
The ferry’s engine slows as it approaches the dock. Jonathan shakes the moment off “we need to get to the car.” They make their way back to the car and sit in silence. The process of getting off the boat moves along quickly and soon they are speeding down the two lane highway that runs along the beach. Jonathans mind is clouded by the past and mixed with thoughts of what had happened on the ferry. His doubt in himself has never been stronger. They were now in Fort Morgan, Alabama. The beach houses all sitting up high on pilings and surrounded by white sand. Every now and then he could catch a glimpse of the beach and the waves rolling in. Jonathan had been here as a kid. It was different but the same. The houses all had bright colors and that “beachy” feel. He smiled thinking of his dad saying that. Flashes of vacations in the past flew through his mind..his dad leading him out as a boy into the waves and how scared he had felt. His mom and his sister laying out in the sun to perfect their tans. One of his favorite was his dad cooking on a grill. The night seemed magical with the sounds of the waves, the salty air and the smell of dad’s famous burgers. The anticipation of eating with his family and then going out on the beach that night to chase and catch the little white sand crabs. Jonathan chuckles as he remembers the night they came across a huge sand crab (all of three inches wide) that didn’t run away like the rest. Instead of running away, it chased them. The sight of his dad running from the little crab and laughing uncontrollably is a cherished memory from his childhood.  He will never forget how happy his dad seemed to be every time they took a trip to the beach. Jonathan wonders if it is those thoughts of happiness that have led him back to this place now. His memories of happiness from the past fade are now replaced by the darkness in the here and now that has cast a shadow over his life. Jonathans smile is chased away by his more familiar scowl.
Jesus’ voice breaks into Jonathan’s thoughts like the sound of a bell “Take the next right”. Jonathan confused asks “Why? Do you have a place here on the beach?” Jesus responds with a smile “Why actually I do. Take a right.” The Camaro turns down the small road that heads towards the beach and a row of beach houses. “There” Jesus says pointing at a large white house with a blue metal roof sitting right on the beach. The house sits up high on the pilings so that the area beneath it doubles as an open garage. Jonathan pulls underneath the house and parks. He turns to Jesus “So this is Your house?” Jesus gets out of the car and simply says “It is one of many…grab your stuff and follow Me.” Jonathan feeling a little sassy says “Seems like I have heard You say that before!” Jesus continues to the stairs leading up to the first floor “You have…you just didn’t follow directions.” Jonathan realizes he has just been zinged, and grabs his things and follows Jesus upstairs and into the beautiful beach house.
The house is expansive with a large open kitchen and living room with a deck that overlooks the beach. The view is spectacular. It is all at once inviting and relaxing…peaceful. Jonathan admires the view and the amenities of the house and says “Impressive.” Jesus invites him to join Him on the couch and says “It belongs to a friend. I thought it would be a good place for you to rest. You have had a big day.” Jonathan smirks “big day?...I am not sure that is what I would call it.” Jonathan takes a seat but only sits on the edge of the couch, clearly ready to talk “So can we talk about what is really going on here?” Jesus sits up from reclining on the couch and faces Jonathan “It is really quite simple. I want you to follow Me.” Not getting the answer he was looking for and feeling a little aggravated, Jonathan says “Follow You? That’s it?...just follow You? That helps a whole lot.” Undeterred, Jesus responds “That’s right. That is all you have to do. I will do the rest. Many people think they have to ‘do’ something. All they really have to ‘do’ is to follow Me.” Jonathan still perplexed asks “ok…so where are we going?” Jesus says with a laugh “Well, soon you are going to bed and tomorrow we are going to church.” Jonathan jumps up “Church? I didn’t come to the beach to go to church…I came to blow off some steam and try to figure out what my next move is.” Jesus says “well if you are lost and trying to figure out ‘your next move’, I can’t think of a better place than church to get directions.” Jonathan concedes and says “If You think that is where we need to go then let’s go. What can it hurt?” Jesus stands and says with a smile “That’s the best decision you have made all day. I am glad you thought of it.”Jonathan turns towards the kitchen and there on the table are plates of food, freshly prepared. Jesus walks by him and says “hungry?” Jonathan says “starved…but where did that food come from?” Jesus gives him a wink and sits at the table. Jonathan almost reluctantly sits down and stares at Jesus. The events of the day finally are starting to add up for Jonathan and the pieces begin coming together in his mind. The veil of darkness that has been surrounding him slowly starts to recede as if he had been covered in it and it has been pulled away. The sights and sounds in the room seem clearer. The colors more brilliant than he has ever seen. Then he notices it. He looks all around the room. His eyes dart left and right but nowhere can he find a shadow in the room. He looks under the edge of the plate…nothing. He looks at the light over head and finds four dim looking bulbs. He searches the floor to see his own shadow or the shadow of the table and chairs but there is none. His eyes slowly rise and meet the eyes of the Savior of the world sitting across from him. “Are You…are You really Jesus?” Jesus’ eyes are full of compassion, love and unbound happiness. “I am”. The confirmation and the sound of His voice send a storm of emotions in motion in Jonathan. His eyes at once look down and his head bows. His whole body is shaking and he feels his face flush red. He stammers out “Forgive me Father” as the sins in his life rush to his mind’s eye.  Jesus reaches out and takes his hand “You have been forgiven.”
At once, the darkness inside him flees from the Creators words. The chains of the world that have been piled upon him shatter and fall away. Jonathan wants to yell with excitement. Tears of pure joy flow down his cheek. This man who moments before had been neck deep in the mire is now finally free. Jonathan desperately grasps for a handle on the moment “I don’t understand what is happening.”
“You were lost in the darkness. Your eyes had become accustomed to the evils of the world to the point that the light of truth was foreign to you. Your mind was programmed to reject truth. I have been calling to you but your ears would not hear. My message is simple…the sheep are many but the shepherds are few.” Jonathan clearly overwhelmed “what does that mean…I don’t understand?” Jesus says “There are so many who have turned away. There are so many that are lost. They cry out but don’t hear the shepherds call to them. When you were a young man, you studied the Bible. You know of My disciples. I am calling you to be one of them. You will go into the world to find those who are lost and help them find their way.” Jonathan cannot believe what he is hearing. He tries to get his words together to respond but can’t. Jesus sympathetically smiles at him and says “please Jonathan, have something to eat and then rest. We have much to do.” Jonathan accepts and after a while has made his way to one of the bedrooms. He lies down and within moments he has drifted off to sleep.